an open letter to Joan Allen:

Dear Ms. Allen,

It appears you are in a movie titled "Death Race." Is this an error, a sick joke, or did you lose a bet? You're a decent actress who I have enjoyed in every movie I've seen you in. Are you not aware of the demographic of a movie called "Death Race?" This movie is for guys and generally requires no thought. No offense to those who will no doubt enjoy Death Race, its just not a movie that is going to make you feel good about yourself afterwards. (I'm not sure it would provide any emotioal properties!) Just because you were in the Bourne movies, which are action style movies, does not give you any logical transition to Death Race. I'm sorry to see your career circling the drain so. See you in Death Race II.


strange morning

So for the first time this summer I woke up before 6am and remained completely awake. What was more strange is that it is now 7:30 and monkey is still asleep. We're going to the library at 9, so she can keep sleeping!

I was awake thinking about all the possibilities that await in our future. Will I be able to be really preggo and take care of monkey all by myself for 2 months? Will I feel resentful? How will monkey react to his absence? Will he go active duty and can we afford it? Will I work...part time maybe? Will I have to move in with or stay with my parents? Can I take care of the dog in all this?

Total madness I know, but with the twin realities of being preggo again (yay!!) and havinf my husband enter the military in some capacity I just couldn't stop myself.

I'm OK now because I told myslef I was getting hysterical for nothing as usual. One step at a time. I can do this. I can do this. I am doing this.


I thought I was done with Junior High

Ok, so I'm not done with junior high in the way that I work there, but I am so over acting like I'm in 7th grade. I took lil' monkey to a playtime for tots at the library. We came late bcause she didn't start her nap right away. We walk in to the small room and no one acknowledges us. Not a "hi" or a "go fuck yourself." Monkey took awhile taking it in, but got busy. She kept trying to make eye contact with the mom nearest to where she had moved to, and despite the fact that she wasn't speaking to anyone, she stonewalled her. Like her cute smiles of a greeting shouldn't be acknowledge in some cursory way. Ok. Fine.

No one spoke to me the entire time. I saw one mom leave with her little girl because no one spoke to her either. They were also the only minorities in the room. These women talked about the special programs they have their kids going to or complained about being preggo again. I hated them all. They either looked like a nice neat stepford mom or a rich-yet-choosing-to-be-dirty hippy.

I don't know if I'll go back there. There is a Saturday morning story time so we'll try that hoping for normal people who do normal things in their lives. The Stepford/Dirty Hippy moms were scary. Is that what stay at home moms are like? How do they see me? How did they judge me so instantly that not one person could say hello? I felt like we invaded their special time. No, ladies, this was advertised so that anyone could come here. Grrrrr.

Thats all for my rant today. I feel better.